It’s been brought to my immediate attention that I have not abided by my contractual obligations, regarding the monthly column I am required to submit to ChaoticWrestling.com. This was reiterated to me in a scathing letter from the petulant powers that be. Let’s make no mistake about it; in no way do I fear a lawsuit from CW. Quite frankly the gutless individuals in charge don’t have the stomach to make such a movement against someone like me. I have however, decided that I WANT to write my column today, so here goes.
What does Adam Barisano have to write about? I’m certain the question should be, what doesn’t he have to write about? Since Cold Fury 14 I’ve played CW like a fiddle to acquire what I want. Now the pencil pushers are starting to feel a need to throw some new tests at my clients and me, to see if we are who I’ve said we are. We love such tests, and I can promise that both of my champions are more than ready to ace them. I’ll first touch on Brandon Locke. The Baddest Mofo on The Show is the perfect example of the cream rising to the top. To put it rather bluntly, Sean Burke failed. He gave Brandon every ounce of energy and strength he possessed, but in the end just couldn’t match up to Locke. In a blaze of glory the rightful man was awarded the CW New England Championship in Woburn, Need I say more? How about I discuss this nobody, Flip mouth Gordon, who has decided to step into the fire? Good luck little boy. You want to play with fire? I promise you will get severely burnt. It seems pencil pushing lap dogs like Tom Jarvis seem to think that Gordon embarrassed me by declining my offer. Wrong! He angered me by being so ignorant as to disrespect my generosity. Tonight in Lowell Flip Gordon will pay for his sins.
Let me change lanes now, and discuss the Fall River Floozy herself, Alexxis. I have to say she bears a striking resemblance to someone Mistress Belmont defeated before to retain her title, however I can’t seem to remember the gremlins name. Where is CW finding these broads? Did they hold auditions at a local trailer park?! GIVE ME A BREAK! In my not so humble opinion, there is only one worthy challenger for the CW Women’s Championship, and her name is Davienne. Either way, as I have stated before neither Alexxis nor Davienne stand a snow ball’s chance in hell at conquering the beautiful and deadly Mistress Belmont.
People, you might as well buy your tickets for Lowell NOW before they sell out! The show will also be main evented by a tag team match that will feature the severe beating of CW Heavyweight Champion Chase Del Monte and Meathead Moron Jimmy Preston. I’m predicting Julian Starr and Firebrand Brian Fury to be victorious in this epic encounter. Until I choose to write again, this has been Adam Barisano.
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