"DeLuise DeLights and Disasters" by RJ DeLuise

07/28/10

Hey Chaotic Wrestling faithful fans, RJ DeLuise here to provide you with your regular DeLuise Dose of the Chaotic Wrestling galaxy through my experienced and genuinely genius gaze. As the summer heats up, this version of DeLuise DeLights and Disasters is cooler than central air conditioning in an ice cream parlor and is proudly presented for your perusal.

Starting with survival, the 4 on 4 war that is planned for Woburn this Friday will come down to the team that works the most cohesively and has the most DeLuise Diligence in keeping their side stacked with fresh men like a DeLuise Dormroom. The République, the rawest talents and most lethal tag team ever assembled, join fellow Empire mates: Brian Fury and Tony Omega against the do-goodery-good-doer team of The Logan Brothers, Julian Starr, and Chase Del Monte in a Survivor style match. Seeing as how the Logans were DeLuise Decimated two shows ago for their Tag Team Titles, they are obviously no match for The République. In addition, Starr and Del Monte have never tagged together ever for any reason leaving huge questions as to how these two prima donnas are going to be able to share the spotlight in a match of this magnitude. All signs point to the Empire walking out victorious and the DeLuise DeLightitude to be at 100% in Woburn.

Biff Busick will be in action in a tune-up match before he makes Hasbeen Johnny quit the company once and for all next month. Mr. Busick, the Manliest Man in Chaotic Wrestling, assured me that he has been watching all the Jackie Chan movies he owns on VHS to prepare for the American Sasuke, Mikaze, in Woburn. He was twenty sake shots deep when he proclaimed to this writer that he has every intention of man-handling Mikaze and showing him that his sissy-nancy ninja training is useless against the manliest master of mayhem in this featured bout. You won't want to miss the New England Ninja face off against the Manliest Man this Friday. Guaranteed DeLuise DeLights or your money back (to my wallet).

Also, the Big Rick Machine, Big Rick Fuller, will battle one-on-one in the singles debut of the Blowout Cousin Vinny E. Vinny blew up my DeLuise Droid with texts all week about how he is just the man to knock Big Rick out of Chaotic Wrestling for good, improving upon The Enforcer Max Bauer's attempts to sideline the super-sized superstar. Danny's cousin Vinny E. knows how to bend the rules as he is wrestling to help subsidize his graduate work in law school. Will Cousin Vinny E. have what it takes to DeLuise Defeat the beast, or will the Big Rick Machine keep on DeLuise Dominating the competition in Chaotic Wrestling? Buy your tickets now (and fantastic Chaotic Wrestling DVD's with ridiculously awesome color commentary) from our online store!

So much Chaotic action on Friday it will blow your mind. Sometimes you have got to be cruel to be kind.

Until next time, may all your DeLights be DeLuise!

RJ DeLuise